


Christmas With the Smiths

by Maksvell



Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Christmas, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Gandalf Staff, M/M, Morty is an ass, Recreational Drug Use, Santa is scary, Santa's a bastard, Violence, Weed, Wendy is anxious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 06:12:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17177411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maksvell/pseuds/Maksvell
Summary: Wendy spends the holidays with her girlfriend's family.





	Christmas With the Smiths

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that this is late, no internet on my end.

The portal opened up, and Wendy and Stan stepped into a snow-covered suburb, on Christmas Eve. Behind them followed Rick. 

“Oh-okay, cashier girl, d-do you think you can take things from here?” said Rick as he slung his weird twiggy torso around two-and-fro.

“Yeah, I can handle it from here. Why?” 

“N-nothing, I just like Stan so much that I have to ensure that his cashier doesn’t y’know do something that ends with them getting vaporized or anything of that nature.

“See ya, Wendy,” Stan quickly turned Rick around and guided him back through the portal. “Me and Rick gotta go...gamble...in...Space Vegas...Yeah,” The two very old men rushed through the portal and vanished. 

Wendy turned towards the house. It seemed vaguely threatening for your average two-story house in a midwestern suburb. But, Wendy couldn’t be sure. It was her first time that she’d be in another dimension for little more than an hour and she had no idea if Summer’s family were...like her grandfather. As she walked up to the door she heard a high pitched and delighted squeal and was quickly met by her girlfriend, Summer. The two shared a smile and Wendy picked up Summer in a massive bear hug. 

The rest of the family, her mother Beth was dressed in a garish Christmas sweater and nursing a glass of wine, while her father, wore an apron that covered his presumably unsightly sweater as well as an expression that said to all, “I’m uncomfortable with everything, but I’m going to try to cheer everyone up for not only my sake but for my family’s sake,”

Then there was her brother, an absurdly short teen at the age of fifteen who wore a look of suspicion as he eyed Wendy, in addition to a sweater with the words, “Christmas Pudding.” on it in big 8-bit style letters. Wendy quickly put her girlfriend down and went quiet at the sight of what she secretly hoped would be her future-in-laws some day. They quickly dispersed, very quickly becoming bored with their relative’s PDA. Beth, however, was the only one among them that remained, a calm smile on her face.

“Soooo, you’re the girl that Summer just cannot stop talking about?” she said as she seemingly glided over to the pair.  
“Mom!” said Summer in a semi authoritative voice.

 

“What, what? I’m just y’know trying to see if she’s alright, y’know see if she’s okay.”

Wendy smiled nervously, “I can assure you that I’m a pretty chill person, Mrs. Smith.”

“Well then, why don’t the two of you come in from the cold,” Beth turned around and went inside the house. The house was plain but was decorated with elaborate, mostly handmade decorations that Wendy could tell were made years ago, by either Summer or her little brother Morty when they were really little. The air was sweet, it smelled like the hypothetical love child of ginger and cinnamon. It was divine, Wendy practically lost herself in the smell of the air. Before she knew it she was sitting with Summer in her bedroom, she had never seen Summer’s bedroom before. It was pretty much the exact same colour scheme as Summer herself, a lot of light pinks and whites. The air in this room was a little different from the living room, this air smelled of lavender chewing gum and oddly enough basil. Summer reclined on her bed as Wendy sat down, feeling awkward being in her girlfriend’s room for the first time.

“You alright?” asked Summer, who got up and walked over to her closet.

“Yeah, what are you doing?”

Summer didn’t respond, she opened her closet door and fiddled with a panel on the wall that quickly fell away, revealing a nice little hidey hole. Wendy couldn’t make out exactly what it was that her girlfriend was doing, but when she emerged she was holding a massive Gandalf's staff. 

“Holy shit, it’s like the size of a baby’s arm,” Wendy was completely stunned at the size of the joint.

“Yeah, keep it down. I don’t want them to hear us,” she walked over to the bed and sat down with Wendy. Summer dug a Zippo lighter out of the left pocket of her jeans. The flame ignited one end of it and Summer breathed in deeply and as she passed it to Wendy she breathed out into a rag.

“What are you doing?” said Wendy as she took the joint from Summer.

“It helps cut down on the smell, why do you think my room reeks of flowers?”

Wendy nodded in agreement, she couldn’t really argue with Summer’s logic. Wendy took a hit and within two minutes the both of them were rendered a giggling mess, a giggling mess that decided to watch that old say no to drugs PSA where the fucking Chipmunks and Bugs Bunny tried to keep some kid from doing drugs. If they weren’t high as a goddamn kite they would have found it to be pretty humorous but, since they were under the influence, they found it to be gut retching funny. Their good times were quickly interrupted by a sudden knock on Summer’s door.

“Oh, shit,” Summer stumbled out of the bed and dug a can of air freshener out from under the bed and sprayed it up into the air, before clumsily passing Wendy a metal box. 

“Quick put it in here,” she said in a harsh whisper.

 

“Summer, I-It’s Morty...Can I come in, o-or are you two busy?”

Wendy giggled uncontrollably as Summer stashed the remains of the Gandalf's Staff under the bed. 

“Yeah Morty, you can come in.”

Summer’s little brother entered the bedroom and sniffed the air a bit before shooting Wendy a dirty look. Little prick, she thought to herself as she looked at him.

“What’s uh, w-what’s going on here, Wendy?” he said still staring her down like she was a wanted criminal. 

“Eh?”

“Fuck off Morty,” said Summer as she gripped his shoulder.

“Ahhh, geez Summer, I’m just busting her balls a little, y-y’know. Scaring her a bit.”

“No offense Morty, but you’re about as scary as a Scooby Doo Chia {et,” chirped Wendy in between idiotic giggles.

“Morty, don’t come up here bothering us, because you’re all salty that Rick wanted to spend the day adventuring with his boyfriend.”

“Fuck you, Summer.”

“I’ll kick your ass.”

“B-bring it,” Summer gave her little brother a firm kick to the crotch that sent him down to the ground like he was a sack of bricks.

“Damn, who’s busting who’s balls now,” said Wendy, feeling little to no sympathy to the suspicious little asshole.

Morty slowly rose to his feet, in his weird little white shoes that made Wendy feel oddly sick to look at. “W-whatever,” he squeaked. “M-mom says that you two need to come down for dinner.” 

The little idiot then proceeded to stumble out of the bedroom and downstairs to the dinner table.

“That was intense.”

“Yeah, Morty’s an ass sometimes but, he’s been a little suspicious of the people that I date because he turned by ex-boyfriend inside out after he made me feel bad.”

“What?”

“Yeah, turned him into like this tumor-ridden monster.”

“O-okay.”

“But don’t worry, he won't do that to you… Probably.”

 

As if she didn’t have enough to worry about, now she has to live in fear of some sort of mini-Rick turning her inside out. She did like Summer though, so she now had to think about getting through dinner without accidentally offending that little maniac in the “Christmas Pudding” sweater. Summer gave her a bright, heart-melting smile as she gripped her hand and lead her downstairs. Some of Wendy’s anxieties melted away as they went and sat down at the table with the rest of the family. 

“Summer, have you seen your grandfather?” asked Beth as the pair sat down, the pained Morty was across from Wendy and he still stared at her with suspicion and now it was mixed with weird infantile rage.

“Oh, he said that he and Stan were going to Space-Vegas, I think,” chimed Wendy in the hopes of being useful. 

Jerry let out an annoyed sigh.

“Jerry, what is it?” asked Beth as she continued to nurse her glass of wine.

“It’s Christmas Beth, and Rick’s off galavanting in some casino with a conman from another universe. He’s going to miss dinner, for God’s sake.”

Summer rolled her eyes. 

“If it’s any consolation, dinner looks great Mister Smith,” said Wendy to Jerry who looked as though he was about to cry tears of joy.

“Look, Jerry, we can start without him. Let’s just push through this day.”

“Fine,” Jerry bowed his head and readied himself to say grace. 

But, before he could say anything the massive head of some sort of gargantuan slug smashed through the wall. It was a hideous white fleshed creature, it was roughly as thick as a city transit bus and it had two massive quartz spheres hovering above it, they sat right in front of Rick and Stan who were laughing maniacally as Jerry cried. His meal ruined by the slime of the monster that was probably related to Mike Pence. Rick slid off, and landed next to Jerry and was followed behind by Stan. He smacked Jerry in the mouth.

“You need t-to get your ass up and grab a gun because there is more to come. Morty, Summer, cashier girl, Beth, y-you can follow me and Stan.” 

They all got up, except for Jerry, who buried his face into the eldritch flesh of the monster’s corpse that crashed into his dining room. The small group went into the garage but it was too late, the garage door was being ripped open by thousands of little humanoid creatures who made oddly wet hissing noises as they went in, they were barely being held back by the little robots that sprayed them with laser fire.

Rick rushed over to his workbench searched for a few firearms while Wendy grabbed a fire ax that was nearby and started hacking away at the little chain garbed monsters that were fighting the robots. She swung her ax and Summer couldn’t help but stare as her girlfriend got completely consumed by the act of war. Laughing maniacally as the blood of her fallen foes stained her white Christmas sweater. It was kind of alluring. Summer didn’t even hear Rick the first time, it was only when he grabbed her shoulder that she snapped back to reality.

“Wow, I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Jesus Summer, c-can you keep it in your pants for five fucking minutes?”

Summer continued to look at her girlfriend as she slaughtered wave after wave of elves. “Fuck off, grampa.”

“Listen, Summer,” said Stan as he pushed away Rick for a bit, “It’s understandable, but you’ve gotta get yer head in the game, cuz Santa Claus is coming to town, and we’ve really pissed him off.”

“What?” said Morty, who is somehow still incapable of rolling with the weirdness punches.

Rick let out an annoyed sigh before gripping Morty’s shoulders, “SANTA MORTY! MOTHERFUCKING SANTA CLAUS! H-he’s coming to town, a-and if we don’t kick our shit into high gear he’s gonna tear your grampa a new one, Morty. D-do you want that? Huh, Summer? How about you? D-do you want Santa to rip my ass in half?”

Suddenly everything went quiet, and all the invading elves dropped to a death-like state, like a possum might. Wendy rejoined the group, still coated in the blood of her foes.

“Oh shit, he’s coming, e-everyone gets ready!”

A thunderous laugh shook the house and the light that spewed from the hole in the garage door was eclipsed by the shadow hidden form of a rotund man.

“HO! HO! HO! Where's all the whores, I’m in from out of town, and I need some straight up whores, who’ll wanna sleep with an old bearded man,” thundered Santa Claus.

“F-fuck off, old man,” said Morty meekly. 

“HO! HO! HO! Morty Smith, you devious little bastard. You’re without a doubt on my naughty list, touching yourself to pictures of Jessica on facebook? For shame Morty Smith.”

“Morty!” shouted most of the members of his family, before receiving a firm smack to the back of the head by Summer.

 

“Get the fuck out of here you old perv, he’s fifteen.”

“I SEE ALL, RICK SANCHEZ! HO! HO! HO! I’m gonna shove a Spider-Man so far up your ass, you’ll be shitting pieces of plastic for weeks Rick Sanchez.”

Santa Claus stepped into the light, a towering bulbous man, whose coat was the bloodstained pelt of a polar bear, and whose eyes were black and devoid of feeling, like the eyes of a doll or a great predatory shark. When he walked the ground shook like a minor tectonic plate shift. His face was dry, and inhuman, like that of an elephant or a hippo. And when he laughed that great and terrible laugh, it revealed two rows of teeth, all mismatched and in varying shapes, that were transparent, like he just shoved bits of broken glass into his gums to act as teeth. 

“Rick Sanchez and Stanley Pines, you murdered my wife, and your cashier girl, Wendy killed my fucking elves. You are all doomed to die a violent death by the hands of the son of the old god Coca-Cola.”

He did an odd hop and leaped in front of the crowd. “Now darkness comes, the ancient ritual shall be complete Rick Sanchez. I was forged in the bleedspace.”

Summer shot him in the dick, causing the tall bastard to wretch gripping his balls in pure pain and Wendy jumped up and buried the ax in St. Nick’s forehead. His blood sprayed out of his face. There was so much bad that if you squinted you could mistake him for a horny anime boy. The entire group was coated in the blood of the false idol, Santa Claus. Morty, screamed and the blood dripped into his mouth, he found that it tasted a lot like chocolate syrup. 

“Well,” Rick took out a flask and took a long sip from it, “That was fun, let’s get t-this idiot out of here.” he gestured to Stan and Morty who helped him roll the Santa corpse to the middle of the floor where he opened a secret door, causing the body to fall down into some mysterious room, where only he would know what happens. The rest of the family went back into the kitchen where Jerry was still weeping at the loss of the Christmas day meal that he slaved over the stove in the kitchen to make.

“That was amazing, it’s been months since I last fought off a monster with an ax.”

“You didn’t exactly fight them off, it was more or less a massacre.”

“True, but still. Just all that energy just gone, woof, like that.”

“And you looked amazing while you were doing it.”

“Aww, thanks dude,” she then proceeded to place a kiss on Summer’s cheek causing her to go bright red.


End file.
